Being Seen

I am writing this really excited and inspired. Recently I have been making a lot of progress, seeing the crops growing of the seeds I have planted, seeing the cycles in my learning, the breakthroughs in understanding and the ripples as these revelations move through every area of my life.

Today I am talking about being seen. Being accountable. Being seen was an obstacle for me and there are many threads in the tapestry that this bug connects to… I shined the light onto my fear of being seen… and all sorts of things started to happen. I’m going to list a few examples;

Ø 14 September 2015 blog post “terrified of starting a blog”, and yet I did it anyway

Ø January 2015 I said yes to the mastermind panel,

Ø I made my company website and showed it to a few friends and family,

Ø I said yes when asked to do the next mastermind panel which is in a couple of days

Ø I used Skype for the first time with video camera on, with a friend

Ø I volunteered to “tell my story or talk” at this years’ event, a retreat I went to last year,

Ø I did my first practice webinar with 4 people

Ø I told a friend about my design for my helping people idea, which I was shy to share.

Ø I registered new clients just by telling them what I do. (duhhhh!!! I can laugh at myself now)

These are just a few examples off the top of my head - and they may sound small, but to someone with a Being Seen issues, they are breakthroughs.

A breakthrough only has to be a tiny gap, a little hole, a space that the light gets through, sometimes just for a second, it’s what you do with it that counts…. it can be a big huge smash of thunder, a lightning strike of a breakthrough, or a small crack that you have to push open, weedle about in, make wider, pry open, see what you can find and make the gap, create the space, the breakthrough hole big enough to see the obstacle, and then you move round it, over it or through it.

But if you have these breakthroughs, the tiny ones and you step away again, doing nothing, not moving forward you miss that opportunity – the alternative way is to step into the pain and the problem and the fear, the rejected part of yourself, in doing so you are no longer ignoring the opportunity of discovering, or rather rediscovering your gift, and true nature.

So. What has changed? Stuff has changed to get to that Being Seen issue. Stuff like;

Ø Letting go of the fear of failure,

Ø Letting go of the fear of judgement,

Ø Letting go of the fear of being rejected,

Ø Letting go having to be right,

Ø Letting go of having to be perfect,

Ø Letting go of fear of the burden of commitment, and of responsibility,

Ø Letting go of being afraid of what people will think,

Ø Overcoming my “instinctive primal fear” of being different because my primitive brain says they might see you are different and then you’ll be alone and then you’ll die.

Ø Letting go of not being good enough

So to get to where I am now, talking to you, when where I started this “being seen journey” was, blog post 14 September 2015 “terrified of starting a blog”. I just realised that is where it started, where I stepped off the ledge into the unknown, the uncertainty.

UNTIL I realised it was the next step, I didn’t know that it was not simply my choice not to be seen, my choice not to do Facebook etc, but instead it was my UNCONSCIOUS choice, which was the unconscious decision I had made about not being seen. That was my pattern and now I am seeing it and illuminating the darkness to you all so I can’t crawl back under it. This tiny little step, following the nudge of my heart in my souls’ direction, in taking this next small step, so I may allow the Universe to reveal the next, and the next step.

Until is a good power, it has the “power of until” that keeps you going until you get there – but until is also gentle, until says, I think this way UNTIL I know something better, and I do now. I am using until twice. I was afraid to be seen until I realised that it’s the only way for me now, and now I will keep practising being seen until…

So here are my next steps. Why am I talking to you now? Accountability. Here are my points.

1. Practising tonight for the mastermind I explained my shy idea to a colleague. So I am taking a tiny step on that. I told the Universe I want it now, I am ready to share my message on this insight I have had, and ready to speak, and I don’t know how exactly the opportunity will come, and I don’t have to, just I now know I am ready when it does. (which I demonstrated tonight by spontaneously telling my mastermind colleague)

2. The Long Mynd Hike – I just re-read my blog post from last year called “My Personal Best”, and last weekend I registered for this annual UltraMarathon again. 50 miles hiking over hills with a 24 hour time limit. The tiny step I am taking on this is – I have to start training because I KNOW that is the best for me. Re-reading my post reflecting on last years’ event reminded me of my passion, and the value of this aspect of my life, it has a lot to teach me. And who knows what connections and friends to make, the Universe reveals the next mystery when you take the next step, and the next. If anyone would like to be my virtual training buddy, wants to get fit, let me know.

3. Stop hiding from launching my company website and going live. Just let it go. Be seen. Fear of being seen, and being perfect, and fear of failure, be gone!

4. Being seen is the opposite of hiding, and invisible. Polar. So if I was hiding, and there these two are, on a continuum, I still have a way to go. So I keep choosing the one I want in every moment, allow being seen to permeate my being and my life. I have to be seen to be heard and … oh my God I just heard “children should be seen and not heard” in my head quietly echo from the past.. how quaint…

5. Enjoy

That is my musings on being seen. This in itself is an exercise in being seen. The benefits and rewards are lovely I must say, it’s not hard at all, what was my problem, what was I thinking…. I will leave that for another day for now, Good night.

My name is Julia and I am becoming aware. J